Monday, January 30, 2006

Day 13 - 15: A ham milkshake

I'm pleased while at the same time slightly saddened, to report that last Friday (day 15), I finished the last of Skeet. Approximately 100 grams were left for a breakfast after downing an appetizing ham milkshake on Australia day.

I was predicting that the ham would separate out into pink chunks floating in a milk-ham slime, yet was pleasantly suprised to find the two ingredients were meant for one another and produced a smooth and refreshing pinkshake -- perfect symbiosis between sus and bovine; like a cheese & bacon burger.

I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me throughout this challenge - it's amazing how many people have heard about it! At the bottom of this post is a link to the movie of me drinking the hamshake. You'll need quicktime or VLC! It's really only for those of you who are really bored or want to hear some slightly intoxicated Australians mumbling inconherently. Thank you Mr Purbrick for your artistic sideways filming.

Just add Milk

Excitement brewing

Down it in one my son.

The look of satisfaction.

Last rites for a good friend.

Ham Shake Movie

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Day 10 -12 : The last stretch

Support my ham habit

Firstly, I'd like to thank all of the people who have supported me through my ham challenge over the last couple of weeks, particularly the men. Common reactions I've received from women are:
  1. Cringing with disgust
  2. Asking if I'm eating my vegetables
  3. Concerned for my health/heart
  4. All of the above
Common reactions from men:
  1. Overjoyed by the fact someone would do this to themself
  2. Spurring me on to take part in new challenges
I would speculate on why there is a difference in opinion between the sexes, but it's bound to get me into trouble.

There have been a number of developments over the preceding days, mostly relating to new challenges. Firstly, I have been challenged to drink a ham smoothie on Australia day for $50. This dare has been accepted and photographic evidence will be taken. Although I feel my gut is relatively strong, I'm not completely sure how beer will mingle with milk-ham. Another challenge has been issued to me by my mate's girlfriend. She believes she can beat me in a race to eat 1 kilo of chocolate, based on the fact that she is a chocaholic. Initally I thought it may take me an hour to eat, but really it should only take 10 minutes... another challenge to look forward to.

Here are some pictures I've taken over the last couple of days. Nothing too outrageous, but you must understand that fashioning functioning eye wear out of ham is not something you can top with ease.

The trucker's breakfast. Fried ham, onion, mushrooms, beans on some country grain toast. One of the best meals I've had!

Why are there tonka trucks on my ham? They're harvesting gold.

Craving take-away, I purchase a foot long Sub. Veggie delight with some accessories!

Nearly all that is left is bone and other white delicacies. 6 days to go - easy money.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Day 8 - 9: Ham Fashion

Day 8

Day 8 was unimpressive in regards to both quantity of ham eaten, and creativity with ham. A small amount of the remaining pizza was consumed for breakfast. Lunch consisted of modest sized ham rolls, and for dinner - no ham at all! Deep in my heart I knew that I would have to make up for my laziness the following day.

Day 9

After accidently purchasing mini-croissants instead of regular size for breakfast, I could see straight away that a large quantity of ham was not going to fit into them. Luckily for me, I had an artisan skilled in many materials by my side - none other than Ms. Beissel. After cutting generous sized pieces for my croissants, I gave the remaining materials to her so that she could work her magic......

The master at work.

Ready for use
- can't wait to try these out!

And people say wearing glasses makes you look smarter..

The summer look - Using all of my concentration to maintain balance brings out my handicapped smile. True blue mate!

The beatnik look - Peace brutha!

You can see I'm in a happy place as I feast on the sweetest of meats.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Day 7 - Ham as a barbiturate?


n : organic compound having powerful soporific effect; overdose can be fatal

Until last week, I couldn't sleep past 7.15-7.30am and would find myself waking up at least 3-4 times per night. Since my ham overdosing, I've been sleeping soundly and uninterrupted for 8+ hours per night. In light of this, Dr. Noel advises all patients with insomnia to eat 400-600 grams of ham daily until cured.

My ham eating performance for the first half of the day was at all time low. I finished the end of the stroganoff for lunch, but this was the only ham I'd eaten for 2 out 3 meals. I could feel another 600 gm meal on the cards!

It is rather difficult to choose what to eat when ham must be included in the recipe. For dinner I decided on a ham, cheese, pineapple, mushroom and tomato pizza, but how was to fit so much ham on it?? I wasn't overly keen on recreating something that bore similarities to my ham salad. Some people at my work felt sick upon seeing the mass of pink Skeety chunks trying to errupt from my bowl. They weren't the ones who had to eat it. How best to disguise it? I think you already know the answer... put the ham where the base is and vice versa. Simple! But will it be good?

Firstly, coat your base with pizza sauce.

Add the rest of the ingredients and place in dish (note the ham sized bread chunks).

Voila! Perfectamundo.

NB - After eating a couple of these, I do not recommend any strenuous activity for the next 8 hours.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Day 5 - 6: 600 Grams of Ham in One Meal

-- Day 5 --
I am dining with my parents tonight, so ham is out of the question. I have also decided that ham is not as appealing for breakfast as I thought, unless it is in a croissant with cheese. Consequently, a large amount of ham must be consumed for lunch.

Below is a photo taken with Gia's phone camera. It is a ham and salad lunch, and thus far has been one of the most difficult meals to eat due to its weight. It may not look like much, but that bowl is 10cm deep, and carries 600 gm of ham and 350 gm of salad (not that you can see much of it).

-- Day 6 --

The ham is now relatively easy to carry with one hand, I can sense victory is near.

After a ham and cheese lunch, my heart begins to feel a bit tight, perhaps like I've strained a muscle in my chest.

After exercise at the gym, I slice some strips for ham stroganoff; a creation I'm hoping will on par with one made from beef.

After searching through one of my cupboards for rice, I find strange organisms stretching to the boundaries of their environment. The plants on my balcony aren't growing as well as these bad boys!

A delicious and rewarding meal, coupled with Paul Newman dressing. Unbeatable! (except if the ham was beef).

Day 3 - Day 4: The creative ham

Following BBQ ham in kings park for lunch, I prepare a cooked ham steak for dinner. It's simply too irresistable and I take a bite out of it before cooking it.

Cahoots Mustard is brilliant - you can get it from Margaret River.

--Day 4--

Lunch Preparation

-- Dinner --

What can I do with all this sliced ham? Perhaps add some tobasco?

The ham brings out my creative side.

Day 1 - 2: Ham Delight turns to Ham Depression

I begin the day with a wholesome OJ plus ham on toast with wholegrain mustard (superb!). In addition to this, I cut of generous slices of Skeet for lunch to make ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches (no picture). For dinner, my girlfriend Gia makes us a salad, to which I add ham for myself.

After sleeping off 3 meals of ham from the previous day, I start preparing ham & gruyere french toast for breakfast (recipe still to be inserted). Although some improvisation is required, it turns out to be quite a treat. Unfortunately after 2 of these pieces of "toast", weighing in around 300 grams each, I begin to feel sluggish in both mind and body, a feeling that I will experience many times more. After shopping at ikea and assembling a new desk for my room, I don't quite feel up to eating - but eating I must do! I eat a nice chunk of skeet in its purest form while sitting in the sun on our balcony. Following this, I enter a kind of hazy ham depression, I feel like all my energy has been sapped and all I can see is the long road of ham before me. A non-ham dinner with several pints put me in a far better mood.

Day 0 - Delight at my Good Fortune

Delighted by my free ham, I ask Luke to take some photographs of Skeet's leg and I. Yes, my ham has a name; the internet is full of useful information, you can find out more about why I named him Skeet here: I'm hoping that following the total consumption of this little creature, some of his name's meaning will be inherited by me, yet the inverse is far more likely. Do I look as hungry as world eating champ Ray Meduna? Not even close.